Black Quest
by JuliaKerns5
Summary: [WARNING: Slash][RLSB][MWPP era] James is tired of seeing Remus frustrated with his infatuation on Sirius, so he gives Remus five tasks to do so Sirius will fall in love with him, or he'll tell Sirius. Even when everything goes wrong, James' tasks work.
1. Task 1 : The Beginning

_Disclaimer_: I do own Harry Potter. _Sigh_.

Black Quest 

_AN_: I'm running out of ideas. I need a few ideas that are firm and simple, so I can add on details. I'm willing to let any of you into my disclaimer, it could use some change…

_Stop it._ Remus scribbled irritably, and jabbed his wand at the parchment.

_Once you stop torturing yourself_.

_We've gone through this_. Remus wrote exasperatedly, leaving hurried blots of ink on the parchment. _Listening to the teachers during class is not torture_.

Remus heard of the old Muggle custom of 'computer talk', and that's definitely what he thought this was.

_You aren't a MWPP, then._

Remus sighed at the note, not even sure what it meant. He vanished the parchment and glared at James, or was grinning. Another parchment appeared in front of him.

_Not like that, Remus. Torture because of something else._

_I regret ever telling you that_. The werewolf wrote spitefully, and tried to fold up the parchment before James could respond.

_It's my business as well_.

_Snooping through my journal is not your business_.

_It was lying right there – on your nightstand! There I was, minding my own business while I was sitting on your bed, and I just happened to catch a breeze from the window which also blew open the journal to a certain page_.

_I bet he knows_. Remus wrote thoughtfully.

_Sirius doesn't know. But he will_.

Remus' eyes went wide as he saw the ink appear on the parchment in front of him.

_What the hell are you considering?_

_I'm giving you an option. No, I'm giving you a quest. You must tell Sirius, or I'll tell him for you_.

_Are you blackmailing me, James?_ Remus wrote back incredulously.

Instead of a witty response, the ink webbed over the page into a large diagram, labeled _Black Quest_.

Remus stared the paper blankly, as five numbers appeared on the page in spidery handwriting, followed by instructions.

_Why is it called Black Quest, James? _Remus asked, smoothing out the paper as he scribbled on the corner of his special parchment.

_Because of two reasons, and they fit so well together it's ironic. Quest, because this is a quest that you must do, or I'll BLACKmail you. See? And also, it involves Sirius BLACK, so that counts too. _

_That's insane!_ Remus retorted angrily on the paper. _Ludicrous! Ridiculous!_

_No, it's not_._ Sirius would think it's – haha – sexy_. _Doesn't that appeal to you, Moony?_ James taunted on the notepaper.

The werewolf sent a glance to James, who was stifling his laughter as the Professor talked on in the classroom.

He diverted his eyes back to the shining paper labeled _Black Quest_.

_Black Quest_

_1. You must _intrigue_ Sirius by cornering him in a dungeon corridor, or accidentally fall into him, or perhaps let him catch you staring at him. It's a winning technique_.

Already Remus had doubts. He _had_ been flirting with Sirius the last year, in a way that he found _extremely_ efficient. They were probably just too subtle for anyone to notice.

_2. You must make Sirius jealous. After he gets intrigued, you must get him confused so he becomes vulnerable and open to comfort and certain emotions. Then he'll be envious, so you'll be the one that he's begging for. Not so subtly. So. How could you complete my ingenious task? Simply pretend to have a boyfriend. Or actually get one_.

Remus did not want to make Sirius confused and vulnerable. He's seen both sides and they're both whiny and needy. Something he only agreed to deal with when Sirius wanted to get drunk really badly. And according to the task, he was also supposed to _comfort_ Sirius after this. This didn't make sense. Why would he try and fix something he could avoid breaking? Why would he confuse Sirius just to comfort and fix him later on anyway? And the part about having a boyfriend was _not_ on his agenda. If he did have on, he would let it be very subtle and unnoticeable, but with this he would have to make it very public and open.

_3. Now you must fake the thing where 'your boyfriend breaks up with you' and you are devastated. Peter and I will try and act out helping you, but we will fail… conveniently. So then Sirius will comfort you and obviously do something romantic. Then you'll have to push him away. _

Remus was on the verge of tearing the paper in half and throwing it in the trashcan where it belonged. If Sirius kissed him, he wouldn't stop him.

_4. Now is the time when you will have to use self-control push Sirius away. You need to catch him staring at you, or act all distant when he does something somewhat romantic or suggestive. Self-control, Moony_.

_No!_ Remus screamed in his head. _NO!!!_ He didn't want to push Sirius away if he liked him. This was _not_ telling Sirius that he liked him. It was exercising temptation and breaking apart something that could be love… he could be destructing something.

_5_. _Now is the time to tell him out front that you like him. Write an email, a note, whisper it in his ear, or I WILL TELL HIM. You must follow this one in particular._

And on the bottom, in added on blue ink, were the words:

_P.S.: If you don't do these, there will be consequences_.

"Class dismissed. Homework is reading chapter six and seven in your Charms book." The teacher said briskly, just as Remus ripped the top of the paper.

"_Noo!_" James wailed from the desk next, and lunged at his desk. Remus had already ripped the paper into eighths.

"What do you mean _blackmailing_? What do you mean _consequences_?" Remus asked furiously, throwing the pieces into the air.

"You're doing that. I don't care if you throw that paper away – as you basically did – I will tell Sirius. Enough with this torturing, it's getting me tired, Remus." James said firmly, looking Remus in the eyes sternly.

"No."

"If you don't do the first one," He started, and walked slowly toward the door with Remus. "I will push you _into _Sirius, push you onto his lips, or even force your eyelids into a wink, _while wearing the invisibility cloak_, so you can't blame anyone but yourself on what you'll be doing."

Remus flushed with defeat.

"Secondly," James added on stonily. "If you don't do the second one, I will tell the entire Great Hall that you're gay during breakfast on Sunday, and then I'll ask for dates for you. _Got it??_"

He is evil, Remus thought. Either he would do this, or his biggest secrets would be revealed. Why did James even care?

"I don't like that idea." He piped in quietly.

"Shh," James ordered shortly. "If you don't fake the entire 'boyfriend broke up with me' thing, I will go up to you while Sirius is there and say 'by the way, Remus, your boyfriend doesn't like you anymore…' and I'll put a crying charm on you. Alright?"

"No." Remus argued, defensiveless.

"Moving on," James ignored, and steered Remus toward the common room. "If you don't push Sirius off when he'll comfort you, then I'll push him off for you. And in the fourth task, if you don't have self-control, I'll have to tell Sirius that you like him early."

"But that's not fair, James_–_"

"It's as fair as it'll become, Remus. And if you don't tell him in the end, I will for you. You in?"

James grabbed Remus' shoulders and spun him around.

For a moment the werewolf thought that he had a choice, but then he reasoned that he probably didn't, because if he'd say no now, James would tell Sirius in an hour's time.

"Fine." He mumbled, and jerked out of James' grip to prepare himself for the tasks before him.

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"Get a good breakfast, Moony," James said encouragingly, handing the egg ladle over to Remus. "You're gonna need it." He added on in a whisper.

"Why?" Remus asked tiredly, pouring pumpkin juice out of a pitcher.

"The first task should be done by tonight… If not, you know the consequences." James warned carefully, and Remus stared open-mouthed.

"Wait – you give me a morning's notice, and I have to complete this in about twelve hours?"

"Yup," James said, nodding. "'Prolly less though."

Remus dropped his fork in a rather hasty manner, wiping his mouth with his napkin before standing up and hurrying out of the Great Hall.

"No – _Remus!_" James exclaimed, and rushed after him.

He caught up with him rather faster than Remus could vanish inside the Portrait Hole, breathless and panting.

"How… are… you… so… bloody… fast…" He panted, and James smiled proudly.

"Quidditch." He murmured.

There was a small awkward silence as Remus went into the common room, and hurried up the stairs, coming back down with a long sheet of parchment.

"What is that?" James asked. "Forgotten homework?" He teased playfully.

"Don't be ridiculous." Remus snapped, his eyes scanning the bottom of the paper.

"What is it though – oh my god." James asked irritably, and then stopped as he saw the paper in Remus' hands.

"What?"

"You made yourself a _study sheet_?" He asked incredulously.

"Not so much a study sheet as helpful hints. I put together the note you gave me and copied the steps onto here, with a few personal tips for my own use." Remus said logically, and folded the paper again.

"It's not gonna help you. Just do it like you would do O.W.L.s." James said soothingly.

"I would study for O.W.L.s." Remus interjected, and then played with the parchment fondly.

James jerked the paper out of his hands. "Listen, Remus. You don't need studying or reading with this. That's one of the reasons I gave you this task. To learn to just have fun and _try new things_, cause I know that Sirius loves you anyway."

Remus knew that James meant platonically, but he couldn't help but smile.

"Even if I told him that I loved him non-platonically?" Remus asked, grinning slyly.

"Yeah. Just be who you are, that's who we all admire, 'kay?" James said softly, and firmly patted his shoulder.

Remus nodded and folded the study-sheet one more time before putting it in his pocket safely.

"'Kay. Eleven hours to go." He said determinedly, and sat down on the couch.

"I can give you a tip. Just… erm, look at him. Stare, more likely. Or something that implies such things, Sirius loves it when the girls do it, I think he feel's wanted_–_"

James stopped suddenly as Sirius and Peter walked into the Portrait Hole.

"There you are. Why did you leave so quickly? They didn't even bring out the bacon yet." Sirius said.

"No reason." Remus said, and felt James stuff his study-sheet farther into his pocket.

"Alright. I guess I'll grab my bag for Herbology."

Remus felt James push him encouragingly up from the couch. He prodded him in the back.

"Do something."

"No."

"_Do something_." James said again.

"No, not yet."

"Yes!"

Sirius came back down the stairs and James pushed Remus toward him.

Staggering forward, Remus fell straight into Sirius, who held him up protectively as his legs slipped and skidded quickly. Remus accidentally kicked Sirius in a very unkickable place, and Sirius promptly let go of him, doubling over.

Moaning, he clutched at his stomach hunchbacked while James stared horrorstruck at Remus.

"My god, Moony."

"I didn't mean to kick him – _there_. I d-didn't mean to kick him at all!" Remus squeaked apologetically, and kneeled down next to Sirius.

"Erm, sorry about that, Padfoot – it was a mistake, very _unintentional–_" He rambled quickly, his palms and forehead sweating slightly.

"That's alright." Sirius croaked, groaning slightly.

"You're alright, mate?" James asked.

"Er – no. I think I'll, uh, skip Herbology, if you'll excuse me…"

Peter looked blankly from Remus to James, who was shaking his head disbelievingly. Remus had his hands over his mouth.

"I didn't mean to do that." He said in a muffled voice, since his hands were covering his mouth – once Sirius left them.

"Smooth, Remus. You're quite the _charmer._" James told him sarcastically.

"Sorry, James. I _told_ you I should have studied_–_"

"Flirting isn't in a textbook_–_"

"It's your fault you pushed Remus into him!" Peter observed, interrupting their argument.

"_Shut up_, Peter, you don't understand_–_"

"We have Herbology, you know." Remus snapped acidly, and hitched his bag up his shoulder.

"Fine." James snarled, and shoved his hands into his pockets.

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It wasn't until potions that Sirius walked into the classroom, looking rather disgruntled and limping slightly.

"You also twisted my kneecap, you know that?" Sirius whispered in a hiss to Remus, sitting down next to his cauldron.

"Sorry," Remus winced. "It's too late for you to start a potion all by yourself. How about you work with me?"

"Sure. I could use an O in potions." Sirius grunted, and scooted his chair closer.

Remus gulped a little, but then simply took his cork of frozen Ashwinder eggs and poured them into the potion.

"Flip the page, Sirius." Remus instructed, and Sirius turned a page in the Potions textbook.

"What is this?"

"Amortentia." The werewolf answered smartly, prompt with the reply as he confiscated the empty vial.

Remus felt someone's eyes on the back of his head and turned to see James staring expectantly.

He mouthed _This is the perfect opportunity_, and waited for Remus to do something.

Yes, he supposed it was. They were together in the Potions as 'partners' which Slughorn never allowed anymore because it was too noisy and distracting – but here Sirius was, flipping the page for him and leaning back in his chair rather seductively. Remus couldn't even _help_ staring.

"I like your hair like that." Remus blurted out, and he heard a _clank_ behind him.

James had knocked over his bottle of lovage, which was now sprawled across his desk. Sirius didn't even look; he only raised his eyebrows and shook his black hair into a curtain around his eyes.

"Really," He mused thoughtfully. "I never knew."

Remus nodded, sweating, as he wiped his sleeve onto his forehead. Why the hell did he say that?

"Give me those moonstones."

Sirius handed Remus the moonstones just as Remus felt a sharp kick in the back of his ankle.

"Ahh!" He shouted out in surprise and pain, and several heads turned.

"Do it." James hissed in a whisper behind him.

Remus knew the consequences for not doing the first task, and he definitely didn't want James to push him onto Sirius again. His ankle jerked and brushed slightly next to Sirius'.

A little purposely, he skimmed his foot onto Sirius' leg lightly.

"Mmm…" Sirius said, closing his eyes, and for a moment Remus thought it was because of him.

"That potion smells _amazing_, Moony." He said, and Remus' eyes widened in his stupidity.

Of course he liked the smell, it was a love potion, the strongest love potion in the world, with the exact mother-of-pearl sheen shining in the bubbles. Spirals were coming up from the frothing potion. Remus himself could smell cologne, the type that Sirius always smelled like, he could smell books, he could smell the sweet scent of melted chocolate, and he could smell wet dog. He didn't even know why that appealed to him.

"What do you smell?" Remus asked Sirius softly.

"Hm," Sirius thought carefully. "It smells like sugar quills for one thing, it smells like fresh ink… I can smell this really peculiar vanilla cinnamon smell I've smelled before… and I can smell rain and mud. Oh, and I can smell your shampoo."

Remus stopped suddenly, and looked at Sirius interestedly. "My shampoo?"

"Yeah. I told you before I like your shampoo. It smells like coconut and cookies. In a really good way, of course. Can I borrow it by the way, on Sunday?"

"Sure," Remus said immediately. "Why?"

"I have a date."

"Oh." He said in a small voice, and stirred the potion one last time.

The Potions class was dismissed five minutes after that, and James was still prodding Remus in the back.

"Here's the plan. You need to corner Sirius in a, erm, corner, and then_–_"

"What's up?" Sirius asked, moving over to James and Remus.

"Nothing. Peter and I are going to lunch." He said quickly, and James yanked Peter out the door rather hastily.

"Do you want to go to lunch, too?" Remus asked tentatively.

"Yeah, sure. But let's take the shortcut and surprise those too."

Remus didn't think that they would be the ones surprised. James probably still had a plan in mind, hopefully not involving shoving him on Sirius' lips _–_

In the midst of his pondering, he felt something – something invisible push him into Sirius.

Remus yelped, rather out of surprise and fear, as his lips almost brushed against Sirius'. His breath fell onto his mouth as Sirius pulled in his breath into a gasp, moving backward into the nearby corner.

"What are you doing, Moony?"

"S-Sorry…" He stuttered. "Must have slipped."

Sirius eyed Remus a little suspiciously and Remus blushed.

Although he was embarrassed as he and Sirius walked to lunch, he could have sworn that he heard a snicker behind him.

_AN_: Hi again!! We will have a chapter for each task, so five tasks and five chapters! I know this one was long but the next one probably won't be quite as much. R&R please, cause I know you can. Thanks for everyone who reviewed my now-finished story_ Temptation_. But I've seen my hits, so anyone who even LANDS here on accident, just review with whatever thought comes into your head. Doesn't matter if it's a flame, just be nice about it, just I like learning from other people's critisizim.

Love,

JULIA :D ;O :P


	2. Task 2

_Disclaimer_: I do not own Harry Potter.

Black Quest :: Chapter 2 :: 

_Black Quest_

_2. You must make Sirius jealous. After he gets intrigued, you must get him confused so he becomes vulnerable and open to comfort and certain emotions. Then he'll be envious, so you'll be the one that he's begging for. Not so subtly. So. How could you complete my ingenious task? Simply pretend to have a boyfriend. Or actually get one_.

_3. Now you must fake the thing where 'your boyfriend breaks up with you' and you are devastated. Peter and I will try and act out helping you, but we will fail… conveniently. So then Sirius will comfort you and obviously do something romantic. Then you'll have to push him away. _

_4. Now is the time when you will have to use self-control push Sirius away. You need to catch him staring at you, or act all distant when he does something somewhat romantic or suggestive. Self-control, Moony_.

_5_. _Now is the time to tell him out front that you like him. Write an email, a note, whisper it in his ear, or I WILL TELL HIM. You must follow this one in particular._

Remus was reading over the list, mumbling to himself rather desperately. He had crossed out the Number 1 on his task list, in bright red ink to remind himself that he was 1/5 of the way there.  
The night before he made sure to catch Sirius' eyes as best as he could, and had accidentally bumped into Professor McGonagall since he tried to make sure that Sirius could see him staring.  
The problem was mostly that he wasn't sure if Sirius was intrigued. If all of a sudden his friend started liking him, Sirius wouldn't notice for a while. He felt that the only way to really put it to him would be to go up to him with a sign saying 'I love you, Sirius' and then he might think it was a joke because Remus was never that forward…  
He was about to scream into the air of frustration or simply rip the paper he was holding, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.  
"How's it going, Moony?" James asked.

"Your ingenious plan isn't working." Remus said to him, growling.

"Yeah it is. Sirius is captivated, I'm sure."

"No." Remus tried to say importantly, stubbornly retorting.

"You did well in the last two steps and now it's time to move on to step two. 'Kay? Forget about step one, unless you want to draw these tasks out."

Remus growled in frustration. "If he doesn't _get_ what's going on, he won't be jealous, and if he won't be jealous he won't get vulnerable, and if he's not vulnerable he won't comfort me romantically, and if he won't comfort me romantically, then he'll never stare at me and start liking me, and if he won't stare at me and start liking me, then I can't tell him that I love him!" Remus rambled helplessly. "The plan _won't work_ if this is what's gonna happen."

James looked at Remus stonily, but he could tell that he was thinking.

"If you don't think that that will work, then I'll do something that will get him intrigued." He told him carefully, and stroked his shoulder comfortingly.

"What are you going to do?"

"We'll have to play around the tasks a bit, but that'll be fine." James said comfortingly, and nodded. He rubbed his chin.

"Oh no."

"Shut up, Remus, I'm doing you a favor – hey, Sirius!" He shouted into the common room, and Sirius looked up.

James made a 'come here' sign with his hand warmly, and nodded at Remus again.

"Yeah?" Sirius asked, coming over.

"Remus is gay."

While James stood sternly next to Remus, his hand on his shoulder firmly, Remus gasped and buried his head in his hands. Sirius didn't do anything else except for standing there, crossed arms and his foot poised. His curtain of hair was covering his eyes.

"So? I'm gay." Sirius said carelessly, and Remus' eyes widened in his palm. He gasped but James pinched his shoulder.

"That's not it. I… er, like Remus." James said, flushing madly. Remus' head shot up in surprise but then James' hand pinched his shoulder again and he had to nod.

"James, you weren't supposed say that out loud." He said, playing along very reluctantly.

Sirius' eyebrows were raised contemplatively. He looked at Remus.

"Really?" He asked incredulously. "You and James?"

Remus didn't want to nod, so he simply buried his face in his hands again.

"Now, now, Remus… nothing to be embarrassed about." James pretended to say soothingly.

"I don't see what the big deal is." Sirius said, and then Remus felt a hand on his other shoulder that definitely wasn't James'. He shivered.

"I-I just w-was afraid that you w-wouldn't approve." Remus said in a pretend-shaky voice. He didn't want to pretend that he liked James. James probably didn't want to pretend that he liked Remus. Would he do this just for Remus and Sirius?

"How couldn't I approve, Remus? I'm gay too."

"Not that. The fact that it's two of your best friends."

"Not a problem. I'll become closer with Peter, I guess." Sirius said.

Remus felt a pang of jealousy as Sirius finished.

"That's considerate of you, Padfoot." James said, indicating the conversation was over. The minute Remus felt Sirius' footsteps walk away, his head shot up.

"What the hell, James?" Remus exploded. "Why are you even doing this??"

"Because I don't want either of you giving this up. You need to open your eyes, Remus, you two fit together like peanut butter and jelly or Slytherin and evil, or Lily and I–"

"Lily doesn't even _like_ you." Remus interrupted, almost on the verge of breaking down.

"Whatever Remus, the point is that–"

"Here's the point, James," Remus said shortly. "We are _not_ playing gay couple in front of the entire school."

"Oh, I think we are." James said stubbornly, poking him in the chest persistently.

"No we are not! You are out of your mind! This will _not_ make Sirius jealous! It will make him cranky because you are no longer his best friend. In essence, I don't want him thinking that we'll – we'll be doing couple things–"

"Look, Remus. Do you love Sirius?"

There was a short pause. "Of course." Remus growled.

"Then do this. Just do it, and after this, I _promise_ I'll tell him that we never ever were a couple. 'Kay?"

"I can't believe I'm about to agree to be your boyfriend," Remus said disgustedly. "How public do we have to be?"

"Erm, I dunno… we'll see, I guess." James said uncomfortably, rubbing his hands together uneasily.

"No snogging."

"No snogging." James agreed.

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"Don't touch me." Remus warned the next morning.

"I _know_, Remus. But you do know that we can't be like – you know, couples that never do anything."

"Let's not use the term 'couple'," Remus said, wincing. "But if you do come any closer than a centimeter, I will hex you."

"Fine," James snarled back. "Oh no, he's coming."

Just as Sirius came strutting up the hallway, James grabbed Remus' hand firmly and placed them on the table openly.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"_Shh!_" James hissed, as Sirius sat down at the wooden table. He stared at their interlocked hands.

"So… holding hands at the Gryffindor table? I never knew that you, Remus, wouldn't mind the entire table knowing while you would mind _me_ knowing."

Remus blushed.

"Er, I was just embarrassed yesterday–"

"So James," Sirius asked, brushing off the topic. "What about your ever-lasting crush on Evans? Does Remus know about her?" He asked, laughing, winking playfully at Remus.

It was James' turn to blush.

"Shut up. Evans never liked me, I guess I just always knew in the back of my mind that she never would." James responded.

"_What?_" Came a shrill voice, and the four marauders looked up to see Lily standing right next to them to grab the bacon platter. "Potter and Remus?" She asked incredulously.

"Er–" Remus began uneasily, and then James cleared his throat. "Yeah."

Lily looked horrorstruck at the thought, and then looked to Sirius as though for support.

"Uh."

"I think it's great," Sirius said, starting to eat his eggs. "Remus is a lot better than you." He mumbled afterwards, and mouth-open, Lily stalked back to her section of the table, glaring at Sirius and casting awkward glances over to Remus and James.

"Hah!" Sirius said triumphantly, smiling at James and Remus. "_Did you see her face?_"

"It _is_ true, though. Remus is better than her." James said in a falsely cheery voice.

"Yeah I know. He's a lot nicer and more considerate."

Remus sat paralyzed in his spot as they talked about Remus, as though he wasn't there. He couldn't help blushing at all of the compliments Sirius seemed to subconsciously throw out.

"Now now, Sirius… don't think about stealing Remus away from me." James said playfully, smiling.

"Yes, he should." Remus blurted out, looking at Sirius rather fondly.

"Look at this, James," Sirius said, laughing. "_Your_ boyfriend likes _me_ better! Probably because I'm so sexy…" He pondered as an afterthought, and he ran his hand through his hair.

"Just shut up… Remus chose _me_, didn't he?"

Even though this was a playful game between Sirius and James with no competition, Remus couldn't help but think that the way this was going would make Sirius think that he would rather choose James over him.

"The four of us should play Spin-The-Bottle. All of us but Peter are gay." Sirius suggested brightly.

The smile slid off of James' face. Remus winced. James _definitely_ wasn't gay and certainly didn't want to test that.

"Haha," He said unenthusiastically. "Yeah… we have to set that up sometimes… c'mon, Remus, let's go."

"Where to?"

"I said, let's go–"

"Hah," Sirius joked. "You look like an old married couple. What's the problem? Not agreeing on wedding china?"

James winced but pulled Remus away anyway. "Okay," He said after they had left the Great Hall. "My bad."

"I _told_ you this wasn't a good plan–"

"I know I know I know. I _really_ don't want to play Spin-The-Bottle with Peter and I hadn't even thought about my crush on Lily when I thought of this–" James said worriedly, cleaning his glasses.

"This was _your_ idea!" Remus said furiously.

"I know. But we must think calmly… We just got to make Sirius jealous and then I can break up with you right away." James said determinedly.

"Okay – oooh noo…" Remus said worriedly, facing his palm.

"What? _What?_" James asked quickly, quite urgent.

"You can't _break up with me_. I'll be your best friend, and besides – we'll have to act all awkward, and also it's going to be bad on Sirius and Peter–"

"Oh, _crap_," James said. "Absolute crappernoodles."

Remus didn't even quietly laugh. They just both stared at the floor. "_Next time_ you have a plan, share it with me first."

"I will. Now what will we do?"

"Just… I guess we just carry on with the plan." Remus said determinedly.

"Why do I ever get myself involved in other people's business… other people's happiness always end in my misery…"

"No time for moping." Remus said sharply.

"Don't tell me what to do," James grumbled. "You're not my mother."

Remus grinned. "No. But I am your boyfriend."

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"How did this even happen?" Sirius asked James lazily, snacking on popcorn.

"Er. I guess I was just open and… brave enough to tell Remus how I feel–"

"Doesn't sound like you." Sirius piped in.

"Yes. But it was romantic." Remus said in a try-to-be-charmed voice, and James very hesitantly swung his arm around his shoulders. Remus tried to pretend that it was Sirius.

"Aww. You look cute together, you know." Sirius said, and Remus felt a small anger of frustration inside his stomach. He was _not_ jealous.

"Yes, I know…" James agreed, sighing.

"Do you actually like each other, though?" Sirius asked.

Remus and James exchanged quick panicked looks before letting out loud and unusually wild barks of laughter. "What, _of course_ we do."

"Then why do you never kiss or anything?"

"Is that the most you ever need in a relationship?" James tried to scoff, brushing off the subject desperately.

"Mostly because I don't want anything to move too fast and because I don't like being too public with does displays of affection." Remus explained logically, even though it wasn't true. If he was with Sirius he would make sure that everyone knew so no one got the wrong idea that Sirius was single. He wouldn't mind public displays with affection.

"Oh, okay."

"So. Does Peter have a date?" James asked.

"No. Let's play Gay-Spin-The-Bottle, then, we all have time!" Sirius said eagerly, and rushed upstairs to fetch Peter.

"Oh, bloody hell." James said, burying his head in hands while shaking his head.

"Got the best of firewhiskey." Sirius said, and along with Peter, he swung a bottle around enthusiastically.

"Er – yay." James said.

"C'mon, guys, get in a circle."

Peter, still puzzled, sat down next to Sirius while Remus and James slid slowly off of the couch. Sirius seemed to be the only one wanting to do this.

Sirius explained that since the bottle was still full, every time the bottle landed on them, they would take a sip. James was reluctant to get drunk, and Remus was reluctant to drink out a bottle that other people had drunken out of.

"Don't be such a wimp, Remus–"

"Germs can _kill_ you–"

"Well, you know, I snog germy icky girls everyday and I'm not dead, am I?" Sirius said, and spun the bottle.

"Ooh, Remus, I'll have to kiss your boyfriend, are you _jealous_?" Sirius cooed, and Remus smiled.

"Of course not – I mean, eh, yes." He corrected.

Remus definitely was _jealous_. But of James, not of Sirius.

"Spin the bottle, James." Peter told him quietly.

James had to kiss Peter, Peter had to kiss Sirius, Sirius had to kiss James again, and then James had to kiss Remus.

"Ooh… Finally, an _actual_ snog and not just quick pecks," Sirius clapped loudly. "It's like a hot kissing scene."

"Er – hehe." James said uncomfortably. They didn't want to kiss – they didn't want it to be like a hot scene on a TV show. That's what Sirius was expecting.

In a second, James leapt on Remus and kissed him very tentatively, his lips pursed together so tightly they were white. Remus was squirming.

"God. You must not be a very good kisser, James." Sirius said when they broke apart, disgusted.

"What?! I am an _excellent _kisser–" James said defensively.

"Then why did Remus look so uncomfortable?" Sirius asked.

Remus took a drink from the bottle, and then spun it.

There was a 1/3 chance that it would land on Sirius, and while Remus was trying not to get his hopes up, his insides squealed as the bottle landed on Sirius.

"There's a new time for everything." He said, smiling, and took a long swig from the bottle before tackling Remus to the ground.

Even though Remus knew that it didn't mean anything, he couldn't help but enjoy it. It was the lightest thing that he had ever experienced, the lightest, airiest feeling ever – and he jumped when Sirius put his hands on Remus' hips, sliding up oh-so-softly to his waist.

Remus had to bite down on his lip twice to stop moaning, or even saying Sirius' name. He couldn't refrain gently laying his hands on Sirius' shoulders, but before he could do anymore, Sirius broke apart.

"Not bad, Remus. It's _definitely_ James that is the bad kisser."

Remus' stomach flopped upwards as he heard Sirius practically complimenting his kissing.

It takes almost thirty seconds for Remus to remember that the kiss didn't even mean anything, and that he _was_ in essence, still with James. Eeh.

He didn't want to be with James anymore, he didn't even want to deal with the all-doomed 'tasks'. He wanted to simply hear Sirius say 'I love you too, Remus.' And then he would like to explain to him that he never had anything going with James.

As luck had only the struck the bottle once, Sirius didn't kiss Remus anymore for the rest of night. But he did have to go to sleep in James' bed because James insisted that it would seem suspicious if they wouldn't sleep in the same bed.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Remus can't sleep in anyone else's bed. Their bed doesn't smell clean; it smells of broomsticks and spilled drinks. It's wrinklier, and Remus can't sleep in them. He rolls around the darkness, only thinking about one promising thing.

_I can break up with James tomorrow._


	3. Task 3

_Disclaimer_: I do not own Harry Potter.

_Black Quest :: Chapter 3 ::_

_Black Quest_

_3. Now you must fake the thing where 'your boyfriend breaks up with you' and you are devastated. Peter and I will try and act out helping you, but we will fail… conveniently. So then Sirius will comfort you and obviously do something romantic. Then you'll have to push him away. _

_4. Now is the time when you will have to use self-control push Sirius away. You need to catch him staring at you, or act all distant when he does something somewhat romantic or suggestive. Self-control, Moony_.

_5_. _Now is the time to tell him out front that you like him. Write an email, a note, whisper it in his ear, or I WILL TELL HIM. You must follow this one in particular._

Remus had crossed out 1 and 2 on the list. Three more tasks to go and then he's supposed to have a relationship with Sirius. It sounded like a weight-loosing program. You're intrigued by the sales, even though you know it's not going to work because it's just too easy, but you have to do it, because you're desperate. He's just waiting for a result.

James walked up to Remus.

"Oh, I forgot. Three tasks to go." James observed.

"I'm never sleeping in your bed again." Remus growled angrily, rubbing his eyes from the tiredness.

"Well, you don't have to. I'm breaking up with today."

"Oh, thank god!" Remus said loudly, looking exuberant.

"I know – oh, Sirius is looking." James said quickly, and with no warning he quickly pressed his lips to Remus' and broke apart quicker than before.

"Why the hell did you just–"

"Shh, Sirius was looking."

"So?" Remus asked. "Does he have to see us snogging every moment?"

"No. But it's only what he does."

Remus looked skeptically at James, who didn't notice that he was criticizing him with that look at all. "How about we break up _now_?"

"Come on, I was looking for you everywhere, we have bloody Defense Against the Dark Arts. Last class of the day. C'mon." Sirius said, running over to them.

"What about Wormtail?"

"Already on his way. See?" Sirius said, looking to Remus. "That's why you don't let James Potter be your boyfriend. He makes you forget things and he let's you miss classes." Sirius reasoned.

Remus closed his book hastily before standing up. "Come on then."

They walked to the last class of the day, talking by the way. James refrained from holding Remus' hand, which no one but Sirius minded to point out.

"He's jealous, Remus." James whispered as they took their spots in the dark classroom, smiling rather smugly.

James decided not to give notes in this class, since obviously his blackmailing had worked and no 'note persuading' was needed anyway. But even Remus almost fell asleep daydreaming about Sirius.

"I'll do it in hall."

"What? You'll do it in the hall?" Remus asked James, as he hissed something in his ear.

"Breaking up in the hall." He said in a lower tone and Remus nodded.

The four of them walked outside, and Remus felt as thought he was walking in slow motion. James cleared his throat but nobody paid attention to it.

"Ahem. I have something to say–" James started in his try-to-be-important voice.

"That's nice, Prongs."

"Shut up Sirius. This is important," He exchanged a look with Remus and Remus was surprised to see that James looked scared.

"What's wrong?" Remus mouthed to him.

"They're going to hate me." James whispered to him.

"No. Just say it." Remus hissed.

"What's up, James?" Sirius asked loudly. James sighed one last time before hitching up his bag and stepping in front of all of them.

"Remus," He said shakily, and turned to face him. "I can't see you anymore."

Remus knew this was the part when he was supposed to be stuttering and wailing even, but he couldn't help when his eyes started watering, imagining that James was Sirius in front of him. No. It couldn't be Sirius. It was James. _It was James_.

But Remus was sobbing now.

"_What?_" That was _his_ line, not Sirius' –

Remus looked up to see Sirius looking furious and James looking positively scared and afraid.

"Is – is this what you give Remus?" He asked in a dangerously low and growling voice. Remus was breathing in sobs. Peter was simply staring disbelievingly at all three of them.

"N-No, Sirius–" Remus started.

"You are seriously going to _hurt_ your best friend?" Sirius asked, and stepped forward.

"Look, Sirius–" James didn't finish though, because Sirius' fist made contact with James' jaw the minute he said "_Bastard!_" So loudly that several people looked. James' bag landed next to him and the crashing noise of inkbottles smashing filled Remus' ears.

"That's what you get for breaking your friend's mind!" Sirius yelled as James rolled on the floor.

"Sirius!" Remus said loudly, but he wasn't paying attention.

"D-Does he need to go to the hospital wing?" Peter asked in an offering voice.

"He's fine here–"

"Bring him there, Peter." Remus cut across Sirius, and shakily gathered his bag up.

Remus could see why James had been afraid – he obviously had risked something. But Madame Pomfrey could fix this, which was technically better than pretending to be James' boyfriend.

Remus walked in the direction of the portrait hole, trembling, when Sirius caught up with him.

"He's a bloody bastard," Sirius mumbled, and he put an arm around Remus' shoulder. "How could he do that to you… if _I_ was your boyfriend I couldn't break up with you… I just couldn't…"

Remus gulped at the warmth of Sirius' hand on his waist. The longingness of wanting to kiss Sirius was at its highest peak.

He swung around, Sirius' arm falling off of his side, and Remus' breath sucked in. He had just wanted to kiss him, but now he looked like he simply shook Sirius' arm off of his waist.

"I would have never believed he would have done that." Sirius murmured darkly, and held open the portrait for Remus.

"C'mon, Sirius." He said quietly.

Remus laid on his bed, Sirius close on his heel in comfort. He stared up at the canopy, trying to get the image of the Sirius breaking up with him out of his mind – pictures of James' rolling around on the floor – pictures of kissing Sirius on that night of Spin-The-Bottle –

Almost subconsciously, he started crying on his bed, wailing into his hands pathetically.

He was in Sirius' arms before he could even ask for them, and he was crying on his shoulder and into his hair while Sirius was brushing his back gently.

"It's okay, Remus. Y-You can do better than James, the bloody bastard – honestly, Moony."

He heard footsteps downstairs but ignored them. Remus laid down on the bed again, feeling somewhat alone but more confident. He had stopped crying.

Sirius laid his hand on Remus' knee but slowly moved up in his soothing strokes, until he was gently rubbing his stomach.

"Are you okay, James?"

"Yeah, I'm fine – I'll _kill_ Sirius though–"

Sirius' head snapped to the stairs as both of them heard the voices of James and Peter. Sirius' fingers curled into a fist.

"Do you want me to kill him, Moony?" He asked in a deadly low whisper. "Cause I swear I will."

"No." Remus pleaded quietly, and put his hand on his shoulder.

The footsteps were coming up the stairs.

"Honestly, Wormtail, I'm fine–" James and Peter came through the door, when James saw the two of them on the bed and his eyes widened. Sirius' knuckles cracked as he twitched.

"Woah!" James shouted, and shut the door again, pushing Peter out of it too.

"Oh god." Remus said, and put his face into his palms.

"You really liked him, didn't you?" Sirius asked softly, and Remus shook his head.

"No I didn't." He said in a muffled voice.

There was a pause were Remus' head rested in his palms and Sirius was assumingly looking at him.

"You're the smell." Sirius said. Remus' head snapped up.

"What?"

"You're the smell of vanilla and coconut that I smelled from that love potion." Remus gulped incredulously and he saw that Sirius' eyes were clouded with something completely different from comfort and brother-like love.

At this point Sirius was supposed to kiss him. But he wasn't.

Oh god, Sirius wasn't kissing him and wasn't going to.

When all of a sudden Remus looked up and Sirius was closer than he should be and then Sirius kissed his ever-so-gently, as though afraid he would hurt him.

Remus moaned immediately, and forgot about the tasks. He didn't want to push him away, he wanted to kiss him. Why was he doing these tasks? Remus was kissing him back, Sirius must know that he liked him as well.

His hands were about to slide up his back, the longingness of wanting to kiss Sirius gone, but he still had this burning desire in him, as he kissed him harder and more desperately – when he heard the door crack open. James knew. James knew that he was kissing him.

He could see it coming.

"_Push him off!_" A voice hissed, and it repeated in his head. Remus felt tears in his eyes – he didn't want to push him off.

"He's not doing it." He heard James mutter to himself, and in the next moment he felt himself being pulled off of Sirius.

Remus moaned in the loss of Sirius' lips on his. He had forgotten about the tasks completely, he wanted to kiss him again, but when he moved forward to capture his lips again with his, he felt James pulling him back. He must be wearing the cloak.

He whimpered at the fact that he couldn't kiss Sirius again, the helplessness burning in his throat and pumping at his heart. "Let me go." He whispered, and Sirius shook him, seeing that he was almost sobbing again, his eyes closed.

"Remus? Are you alright?" He asked worriedly, but Remus didn't open his eyes. He didn't want to hear or see Sirius again – he _couldn't_ kiss him again – he would break up with him

Again images of Sirius breaking up with him entered his mine, and with one more last clutch at Sirius' shirt, he jumped off of the bed and ran out of the dormitory.

_AN_: Okay, I'm only updating nightly because I have the entire thing written out already. But I won't post it all at the same time... Haha. Well, I couldn't believe how many reviews there were, and I have to thank you all SOOO much because it totally made my day!! I usually never get so many reviews.  
Love,  
JULIA :D ;O :P


	4. Task 4

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Harry Potter.

_Black Quest :: Chapter Four_

Black Quest 

_4. Now is the time when you will have to use self-control push Sirius away. You need to catch him staring at you, or act all distant when he does something somewhat romantic or suggestive. Self-control, Moony_.

_5_. _Now is the time to tell him out front that you like him. Write an email, a note, whisper it in his ear, or I WILL TELL HIM. You must follow this one in particular._

Two more tasks to go and Remus was in misery.

The paper that seemed like it had been passed years ago lay crumpled in his hands, which where balled into fists. He was going to kill James. He had to. He had kept him off of Sirius. His plan was _stupid_. _Stupid_. It wouldn't work. He could have gotten together with Sirius, but now he couldn't. James messed stuff up horribly.

The words _self-control_ were ringing in his ears. He couldn't control himself around Sirius.

He laid in his bed, crying silently as tears went down his face in twos and stained his pillow. He didn't bother to wipe them off as they would slide down his cheek.

He felt foolish for believing in James' plan. He felt foolish for going along with it. Tomorrow he would only wake up to using self-control.

OOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOooOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The next day he didn't expect anything but a typical Saturday morning – or he _hoped _for nothing more than a typical Saturday morning. But things never go his way, so he wasn't counting on anything.

Remus woke up at eight in the morning, earlier than anyone else, and got dressed, when all of a sudden the dormitory door burst open and James burst through it.

"Remus. I can't believe you." James muttered. There was a dark bruise on his jaw.

"Couldn't Pomfrey clean that up?" He asked skeptically, pointing to his chin.

"No. I still can't believe you did that."

"Did what, James?" Remus asked, a little angrily.

"Kiss Sirius."

Remus snapped. "Okay, what do you expect James?! Honestly, the desperateness was so high – it wasn't even funny. When you pulled me off of him–"

"I wouldn't have had to do that if you would have done it yourself."

"I _love_ him, James, I couldn't just push him away! I am so freakin' mad with your idiotic quest I don't even want to _look_ at you!" Remus exploded. "Damn you. Damn your stupid plan."

James sighed, and turned around.

"Remus," He said gently. "Don't give up on this. Okay – I was being a little stupid, I may have messed something up, but you're going to be able to fix it." James said calmly.

"No, _you_ are," Remus said. "I'm done with this stupid quest."

"Just believe me, Remus. Look, he comforted you when I 'broke up with you', which means that he _cares_–"

"I don't care that he cares, I care that he now thinks that I _don't_ like him, and that I hate him, because _you_–" He poked him in the stomach. "–pushed me off of him!"

James closed his eyes. "I'm sorry Remus. I've been messing up but I promise that things will get better. I'll help and anything that'll ever go wrong I'll blame on me. 'Kay?"

"No more pushing me off of anyone?" Remus asked quietly.

"Promise. No more pushing you off of anyone," James said, and smiled at apologetically. "Or pushing you _into_ someone, that's for sure–"

"Oh shut up." Remus said, when he heard a grumbling of someone waking up next to him.

"But look," James said hurriedly in a whisper as the sheets rustled. "I'm gonna hang around when Sirius is there."

"Why?" Remus asked irritably.

"So you follow the tasks, believe me, Remus, just trust me–"

"Remus, is that you?" Sirius' croaky in-the-morning voice asked gently.

"Yeah." Remus said in a weird voice. James' eyes widened and he hid behind the couch.

"What the hell are you doing?" Remus hissed, but James was mouthing_ I told you I need to be around when Sirius is around_.

Sirius stood up from the bed, his hair still sleek but slightly messy and his pajama's falling over him elegantly.

"Were you talking to someone?" He asked carefully, and Remus immediately shook his head.

_Self-control. Self-control. Self-control._

"What do you need, Sirius?" He regretted almost instantly saying it, as Sirius looked somewhat hurt.

"Do I need a reason to see you? Do I need to need something?"

"Usually you do. Usually you come to steal my chocolate." Remus blurted out.

"Yeah, well not this time. But I guess I do need something." Sirius said rather hopefully.

"Yeah? What is it?"

Sirius looked as though it was obvious, but said it softly nonetheless.

"You." For a moment they just stared at each other, and then next moment Sirius had closed the gap between them.

It was even more desperate than before, because the tasks were in Remus' mind now. Only two words were ringing in his ear. _Self-control. Self-control. Self-control._

He moaned out of frustration as he felt Sirius' tongue on the roof of his mouth. His hands snaked up to his chest and with a loud buzzing in his ear he pushed him away.

Sirius staggered backwards, looking hurt and disbelieving. Remus was absolutely close to tears.

"O-Oh," Sirius said, sounding as though he knew that Remus didn't like him and that he had just been looking for comfort the night before. "I didn't know." He walked out of the door immediately and Remus broke down right away.

"Remus, I'm so sorry… there's still options. Just follow task four." James said right away, climbing out from the back of the couch.

"Can't I skip task four?" Remus asked bitterly.

"No. Then it actually makes Sirius _want_ you."

Remus sighed, and pulled James out the door talking with him, first it being bitterly about his misfortune with Sirius and then about Quidditch and laughing with him too.

James and him walked into the Great Hall, when they notice Sirius' eyes on them.

"Sirius is staring." Remus muttered uneasily.

"Shh." James said shortly.

"If we don't talk he'll think that we stopped talking because of him, and then he'll think that we were talking about him." Remus rambled.

"I thought I told you to shh." James hissed, as they neared the table. Sirius looked downwards and cleared his throat.

"So," Sirius said. "Did – did you two get back together or something? I-Is that why this morning, you… you know." He said in a choky voice and Remus looked downwards. James' eyes were wide.

"No. No we're not back together. Actually, I have something to tell you – Remus and I were _never_–" James tried to explain, but Sirius smiled falsely.

"Actually, I have something to tell you." Sirius said, and walked over to the other side of the table.

"Er, okay." James said uneasily, and Remus looked rather quietly at the scene.

"If you would be Remus' boyfriend, I would refrain from doing this, but since you're not, and you broke Remus' heart, I'm gonna do it," Sirius said, and in one moment he rolled up a sleeve. "_Bloody wanker_." He hissed, and punched him in the stomach.

"Sirius!" Remus exclaimed, and stood up, but Sirius was already rushing past the scene.

Remus kneeled down next to James soothingly and stroked his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Oh!" He heard Sirius shout angrily. "So he _is_ your boyfriend again!" Sirius finished, seeing Remus talking carefully to James.

"I'm fine, Moony. That wasn't the first time somebody punched me in the stomach."

"Oh my god, what happened to Potter?" Several people asked loudly, and all of a sudden Remus saw Lily hovering over him.

"Oh my god, was he getting himself into other's people's business again?" She asked, and kneeled down.

"Not yet." Remus smiled.

"I've been studying healing, you know." Lily assured James softly, and brought out her wand.

"D'you think–"

"Don't think," Lily told Remus. "Just go after Sirius, okay? Couldn't you see what was going on?"

"No," Remus answered, smiling. "I was more focused on my bloody friend on the floor thrashing around like an eel."

Remus didn't know how Lily knew, and she probably didn't know, but she was excellent at seeing people's feelings quickly.

Remus simply stood up, listening to James groaning painfully behind him.

"Are people staring?" He asked embarrassingly.

"Shut up. I can give you a bloody nose if you don't get your popularity on the lower part of your priority list for the moment." Evans warned.

Remus didn't care about the tasks anymore. He ran out of the hall, students muttering like buzzing bees.

"Sirius, _come back here_!"

Remus couldn't find Sirius anywhere. Not in his favorite secret passageway, not in the nearest storage closet, and not trashing the girls' bathroom by turning on all of the taps.

When Remus gets nervous and worried, he reads.

And that was probably why he was chewing his nails in the common room while frantically turning pages in his favorite textbook.

He had turned the last page when a note fell out of it, brushing by his foot.

There was nothing on the front, so Remus must have thought that somebody might have lost their note and it simply happened to land there. But then his usually hidden curiosity got the better of him and he unfolded the note.

_I knew that you would find this. I knew that you would come and find me, or try to, and then you'd get afraid and then you would read this book like you always do. And if you're reading this now then you'll find something out._

_I don't know when it happened, it may have been since I met you and I just didn't notice. I guess I was just too absorbed in something else, which now I've realized was the stupidest thing I've ever ignored. So I'm sorry that I never noticed. I guess if it's too late and you're in love with Prongs or something, it's my fault cause I never asked you in all this time. It's my own fault that I never noticed that I love the smell of your hair, that I love the look of yours eyes when you're concentrating, and that I can't spend a day without you. And now it's time for you to know._

_I love you, Remus. And I'm not going to make anything dramatic, so all I'll say is that._

_Padfoot_

Remus was feeling absolutely broken. But mostly he was surprised.

James' plan had worked.


	5. Task 5 : The End

_Disclaimer_: I do not own Harry Potter.

_Black Quest :: Chapter 5 ::_

_5_. _Now is the time to tell him out front that you like him. Write an email, a note, whisper it in his ear, or I WILL TELL HIM. You must follow this one in particular._

Remus' decision to tell Sirius was as it's highest point. There wasn't any need for James to convince him, because it felt right and because Remus knew he wouldn't regret anything. He actually _wanted_ to do task five, he was actually glad he gone through with this, because otherwise he wouldn't be where he was now.

He actually had to stop and think first to sort through his priorities. Either he could thank James and ask him to help him look for the boy who punched him, or he could simply find Sirius.

It took Remus two seconds to realize that he just needed to find Sirius, because he didn't want James lingering around while he told Sirius that he loved him anyway, mostly because he still thought that Remus and James were boyfriend and boyfriend.

He sped along the sloping lawns that were damp and mushy, the letter in his hand crumpled and sweaty for assurance.

He didn't have to tell it to his sleeping form or whisper it mumbling in his ear, or tell him with an anonymous note. He could be as open as he wanted to.

As Remus had somewhat suspected, Sirius was lying along the rock rim edge of the lake, throwing stones into the rippling water.

Tripping over his own feet, Remus splashed through the rest of the mud, the hem of his robes and shoes stained with dirt.

"You always go outside when you want to be alone, Sirius." Remus said fondly in a soft voice. He didn't even want to _think_ about being too late for him.

He took a seat next to him, gently lowering himself onto one of the rocks. There was an awkward silence for a moment.

"So… is James okay?" Sirius asked in an uncertain voice, as though not sure that Remus had read the note or not.

"I don't know. James isn't my boyfriend, you know." Remus whispered gently, and smiled, even though Sirius wasn't looking at him.

"Well, I'm glad," He said and threw a stone viciously into the water. "He made you hurt."

Remus smiled.

"No he didn't." Remus explained calmly, and brushed his hand on Sirius'.

Sirius looked at Remus with confusion and disbelevingness.

"But – but he–"

Remus leant a bit closer and whispered huskily in Sirius' ear.

"James was never my boyfriend." He was still smiling as Sirius looked absolutely puzzled.

"_What?_"

"I never liked James. James never liked me. James was never gay."

Sirius' eyes clouded with realization and some sort of sadness.

"No wonder he looked so uncomfortable when he kissed you – or me – how could I have ever been so gullible to believe that he was over Evans?" He smacked himself on the forehead frustratingly. There was a pause. "But that means that you were never gay either, then." Sirius looked positively on the verge of tears.

Remus smiled ever more broadly, ready to complete the last task. "Don't be ridiculous." He said in an extremely quite voice, right before capturing Sirius' lips with his own lightly for two seconds. Sirius' hand slid on his cheek, but fell off afterwards immediately. His fingertips brushed his own mouth.

Sirius looked absolutely thunderstruck.

"Bloody hell. You _are_ gay."

"I am," Remus said softly, nodding. "Honestly, Sirius. Do you think that we would _both_ fake being gay for nothing?"

"But – but – then why did you – so James and you never… but then I punched James – oh crap–" Sirius realized incredulously.

"Er–" Remus blushed. "It wasn't even my idea – it James' sort of demented _present_ for me–"

"What?"

Remus smiled, laughing. He felt like there should be music.

He leant closer again and his lips, parted, fell on the edge of Sirius' ear. His hot breath gusted on his earlobe as he grinned and nibbled on the bottom slightly, receiving a moan from Sirius.

"Oh."

"Black Quest." Remus whispered, grinning next to the side of Sirius' face.

"_What?!_ Was this another one of James' stupid plans?"

"Actually, yeah," Remus said, moving back. "Except this time it actually worked."

Sirius laughed.

The werewolf pulled out an aged and yellowed parchment, and handed it to him. Sirius unfolded it slowly, careful not to rip it, and the words _Black Quest_ webbed on in spidery black ink, as did each step, which were lightly crossed out, so they were still readable.

"Oh my god, Rem. I didn't notice, even. This was James' idea?"

"Yeah. And it worked." Remus said, the smile still on his lips.

"I didn't even _notice_. You're too subtle." Sirius said fondly.

"I don't have to be like that." Remus said back, smiling wickedly. Sirius smiled back.

"Show me, then." He commanded, and Remus crawled over to Sirius, interlocked one of their hands, and wrapped his other hand on the nape of his neck, pressing his lips to Sirius'.

"Ahh!" Sirius screamed playfully, as they tipped backwards off the rock.

"Shh," Remus said softly, as they landed on the firm, soft muddy ground. "When someone's showing you something, it's rude to interrupt."

Sirius nodded, and they kissed again, much harder and more desperate than the last time. It was no longer soft, it was firm and commanding, it was showing that both boys knew exactly what they were getting themselves into and that they liked it. They were okay with it. They wanted to.

"Y-You should–" Remus stuttered, his hands almost ripping at Sirius' hair.

"Shut up, Remus. Whatever it is, wait." Sirius said, and kissed his jaw, his hands sliding up his stomach.

"N-No – Sirius, you need to apologize to James–"

Sirius rolled over, so he was on the top and no longer the side. He was dominant now, and Remus shut up immediately, as he looked in his eyes rather fondly.

"Do you always talk this much when people kiss you?" Sirius asked, and Remus blushed.

"No. So shut up and kiss me now."

Sirius did, taking his face in his hands and sliding his leg upwards from Remus' thigh.

They were out of breath before long, when they both sat up, panting, their embraces still enlocked and their mouths still fighting a desperate battle. Sirius' hands slid downwards, gently brushing on Remus' shoulders and his chest, when he reached the first button and he clipped it open. Before long he was shirtless and breathless beneath him.

"Go and find James, Sirius. I won't do anything with you until you do." Remus said, and from the shocked look on Sirius' face, he could tell that his way had worked.

"Fine." He said, and climbed off of him reluctantly.

"Thanks," Remus said, buttoning his shirt while beaming at Sirius. He stood up, and trailed a finger down Sirius' shirt. "I'll repay you."

Sirius smiled, and they both walked back to the castle.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"What do you mean, you're _sorry_?" James asked hotly back in the common room, Sirius and Remus snuggling cozily on the couch. It was just like the other night when James and Remus were the ones on the couch, just before they played Spin-The-Bottle.

"_I am sorry_, James, because I punched you in the jaw."

"And the stomach." James snapped.

"And the stomach." Sirius added tiredly.

"You look tired," Remus said warmly. "Do you want to go to bed?"

"Can I sleep in your bed, please?" Sirius begged pleadingly, and Remus nodded.

"Why not?"

"And I should thank you, James," Sirius said as they got up from the couch. "Those five tasks would have gotten me on the floor if I would have known what the hell would have been going on."

James smiled weakly. "Sure."

The two of them said goodnight to James and Peter before they vanished up the stairs and slipped into their pajamas, snuggling under Remus' bed. They were settled in the dark when Sirius slipped his arm over Remus'.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm spooning you," Sirius explained. "Mmm… And it's nice because I can smell your shampoo and that smell of vanilla and cinnamon that both you are your bed smells like." He grinned and laughed. Remus looked sideways to see Sirius.

"I love you." He said, and leaned in.

"I love you too, Moony." Sirius replied, and brushed their lips together in a firm embrace.

As Remus cuddled closer to Sirius under the blanket, he couldn't help but smile as he heard Sirius' slow and heavy breathing right next to him. Their hands entwined, he laughed silently.

He needed to make a mental note to tell Sirius thirty times how much he loved him tomorrow morning. He also needed to tell James that the next time he makes a suggestion, he'll do it anyway cause he fixes his mistakes. He also needed to thank James for doing all this, thank Peter for playing along with Gay-Spin-The-Bottle, and he'd have to remember to buy more of his Coconut and Chocolate Cookies shampoo and conditioner for Sirius. Lastly, he'd also have to remind himself that any quest is a black quest when Sirius or James are involved.

_Fin_.

_AN_: Sigh. It's over now... but I thank you all for all of the favorite stories this is going under, and all of the alerts and hits there were... This was the first story where the reviews actually matched up to my criteria - ten reviews or more per chapter - and I was never able to do that. You guys made it happen though!!! I love you all:D  
Love and hugs and kisses,  
JULIA :D ;O :P


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